Hi, I'm Sam, I founded Fluid Social to help men to build their social skills, social networks, overall confidence and dating lives. I teach all of my clients how to respectfully approach, meet, attract and date beautiful women in the daytime.
I believe that every man should be able to approach and connect with others in the day, as and when and where they choose.
The strategies I teach all allow you to express yourself authentically, communicating your feelings clearly and directly, without oversharing or descending in to pointless small talk. I instil social awareness and social intelligence in my client’s communication, and my practise is based on a mixture of Evolutionary Biology, Applied Behavioral Analytics, Linguistics, and body language.
My experience entails 2 years working with students who have mild to moderate learning difficulties, including Asperger's Syndrome, High Functioning Autism, ADHD, ADD as well as Bipolar Disorder and Dysthymia. For the past 5 years, I have been coaching men of all ages on how to improve their verbal and nonverbal communication, as well as their overall confidence and dating lives.
I used to be very socially anxious. I would never speak up in groups, and I genuinely believed that I was not worthy or good enough for the types of girls I was attracted to. I thought that having social confidence and being good with people was something you were either born with, or not.
Though nervous, I was always interested in people and the way they communicate. As I grew up, I was always analysing the reactions and body language of the people I saw, to analyse how they were feeling and better understand their nature. So I was always socially aware, and empathetic, but my sense of self-worth pivoted on the opinions of others: a compliment could make my week, and just as easily, a strange look or a throw-away comment could ruin it.
At 17 I had my first serious relationship, which revealed our unpleasant, dormant insecurities, and exacerbated the childish fairytale narratives with which we had burdened each other. Neither of us could have ever lived up to the fictions we had created, and so the relationship failed. I felt free when it ended after 2 years, but I was confused and lonely. I blamed women for pandering to men that were not kind or good to them. I believed that they were innately self-centered and self-destructive, and I projected my own emotional weakness onto them, in an effort to rationalise my failure to communicate with them.
9 months after the break up, I stopped working on my History of Art Degree, as a number of unlikely circumstances lead me to a period of deep study and research on human communication, and particularly ideas surrounding sexual selection and neurolinguistics. I also spent hours each day approaching women in the streets, cafes, galleries, restaurants, around the city of Nottingham.
I found that women would become engaged, sometimes flirtatious, and even laugh with me and exchange contact details. I was having fun, and I saw the glimmer of a worthy future for myself, but what was still missing from from my interactions was this: the spark of adrenaline which occurs when a strong masculine energy encounters the feminine. The women I spoke with rarely returned my messages.
Though this long and often painful process, I had some profound mental recalibration, and I learnt that the following two fundamental elements were absent: mental clarity, and the intent not to 'get' anything, but only to better understand the nature of the other person. I was so preoccupied by what I was doing and saying that I never paused to think or notice how she was feeling: was she happy or sad? Comfortable or uncomfortable? Shy or expressive? Was I even attracted to her or really listening to what she was saying? When I focussed only on her and not myself, I allowed my mind the space to host for feelings: arousal, kindness, lust, love, spontaneity.
The formulaic process of learned 'game' - with its structure, routines and theory - can be very helpful in permitting you to feel confident when taking the terrifying step forward, and approaching an attractive stranger, but any attempt to reconstruct the natural course of an interaction between two people will always fall short of that between two who are truly engaged with one another, and enjoying each other's company.
This revelation became the foundation of my teaching method. I view everything I teach through the lens of why, and not simply how things work the way they do. Learning conversation skills without fully engaging with the individual is like learning that E=MC2 without ever knowing what E, M or C actually are, or how they interact in the real world.
My students learn how to have genuinely engaging and enjoyable interactions without ever feeling or looking like they are performing a ‘pick-up’, because they simply aren’t. Engaging with women, and people more broadly, from this perspective brings energy and magic to communication, and this is the missing link that differentiates a ‘pick-up artist’ from a confident, abundant, and charismatic communicator.